If sailors in the Norwegian Navy want to grow a beard, they must submit a form requesting permission to do so. This form should include a drawing of what their beard will look like. Redditor "aellgutta" recently shared a photo of such a form that he submitted, along with a translation:
On the top it says "BEARD APPLICATION", then it's rank/ military ID-number, full name and platoon/ division. Then it says "Reason:" to which I wrote "I get irritated skin from daily shaving and it's starting to get cold outside." Under the sketch I drew, it says "DRAW HERE!" and at the bottom the Lieutenant has written that he will inspect it after the next excercise (which gave me about 2,5 weeks) followed by a stamp to show my application was accepted.
Crazy lady told her son that if he eats all the meat she will eat his dog. Apparently, not believing her, he ate all the meat. Inexplicably she made good on her threat by starting with the poor animal's testicles which she bit off. One would think a pit bull would fight back but he just ran off screeching in pain. Crazy lady then used an old tricycle to knock out a witness who tried to intervene and made her son bury her with a piece of garden hose to breathe through. The last was to hide from police, not successfully. Ta Da!!!!!!
News of the Weird / Plus
May 26 2015 (Part 2) [weird stuff that made me excited (frightened) (ROTFL) (appalled) last week, some of which will appear in News of the Weird soon] [Part 1 on Monday, Part 2 on Tuesday]
Des Cartes De Fidélité: Drug competition on the street in Marseilles, France, is so keen that more than one dealer has now begun to offer "loyalty cards," where a buyer can get a 10-euro discount after 10 purchases (getting all 10 squares punched). One buyer told La Provence, "I thought I was hallucinating. I thought I was at a pizzeria or something." The Local (Paris)
Hostage negotiators are good in North Wales, UK. Spent 90 minutes convincing two guys to come down . . from a one-story roof 8 ft off the ground (with a photo!). (Seriously. Couldn’t have hurt themselves if they tried.) South Wales Evening Post
So he’s about to go under for LASIK surgery in Lake Oswego, Ore., without his glasses, of course, and they shove a liability disclaimer form in his hands to sign . . in, of course, small font. The Oregonian
Feminists get all hysterical about the casual use of “hysterical” to describe hysterical women, but here we have the delightfully named Ms. Heather Hironimus, mother of a once-to-be-circumcised boy and who has lost state case after state case (OK, it was in the F State, but still, we have standards), and she won’t give it up. (Understand: We don’t know what the kid wants; we only know that the dad parent says snip him, and the mother parent says leave him intact, and they’ve been almost knife-fighting about this for years.) (Further Understand: Before Weird Universe hears from the “inactivists” who think circumcision is like female genital mutilation: OK, OK, but Ms. Hironimus has had her day and day and day and day in court. Give it up; there’s the possibility in a democracy that y’all are wrong.) Associated Press via ABC News
At Valencia State College in Orlando, medical-assistant students learn various procedures that are important, and the “transvaginal probes” would be an important skill to have. Valencia says, Best way to learn how to do it is to have one done to you (even if you might have to be "stimulated" in order for the probe to be inserted comfortably). Agreed. Except that since it involves a sensitive (if not sacred) area, it seems a little awkward to force students go through it. CNN
A hygiene-concerned gentleman in China’s Nanyang City, Henan, was recently photographed carefully river-bathing . . his inflatable sex doll . . and give him credit for ignoring onlookers (photos!). Shanghaiist.com
Bright Ideas: In America, we fret about the sensitive way to collect debts from deadbeats. Respect the lender, but also respect the poor debtor. What to do? In Russia, apparently, they simply go confiscate the debtor’s cat. Moscow Times
A study reported on Nature.com worried about all the dead links in online reference citations for “scientific” journal articles. Unaddressed by the authors were two superior points: (1) There is roughly 10 times as much “research” as is important in journals, anyway. (2) Nobody reads all that crap, except 4 or 5 people who, of course, always complain when a link is broken. Nature.com
News of the Weird / Plus
May 25, 2015 (Part 1) [weird stuff that made me excited (frightened) (ROTFL) (appalled) last week, some of which will appear in News of the Weird soon] [Part 1 on Monday, Part 2 on Tuesday]
West Virginia, with 1.85m residents, was shipped 40,000,000 oxy and hydro pain pills last yr--umm, 21.6 for every man, woman, and child in the state, way ahead of other states and inexplicable for the drug wholesalers not to have noticed. West Virginia Gazette
A Morgan Stanley wealth manager chick who had an affair with a super-rich client (and lost a boatload) may put the company on the hook for $400m (because the F State has an “abuse of elders” law that multiplies damages). [Yr Editor mentions this because Yr Editor turns the Big 7-O next month, and, as everyone knows, 70 is the new, ummmm, well, in my case, 80.]Business Insider
Belleville, Illinois,’s favorite sock fetishist James Dowdy is back acting out again. Not only does he steal them, he uses them in “an inappropriate and obscene manner,” according to the cops, and he might have a notebook chronicling all the thefts and the socks’ owners. Belleville News-Democrat
Inexplicable: A wife got 3-1/2 yrs in prison for running over her husband in a parking lot--but the reason was that she was mad that he failed to vote for Romney in 2012. (Bonus: They live in Arizona, and Romney carried the electoral college anyway so who cares if he voted or not?) Reuters
Texas still sucks, major league, even though the state’s highest criminal court just released Dan and Fran Keller, who were convicted in 1992 for the most sickening [in Yr Editor’s humble opinion] railroading job in present-day America. Their convictions for running a totally implausible, fabulist-accused child-molesting day-care were overturned, but they were not yet officially exonerated. Austin American-Statesman
The Portfolio Recovery debt-collection company got a name wrong and hassled someone it shouldn’t have, badly, and now she got a Kansas City, Mo., jury to award her, ummmm, $83 million. New York Daily News
Alvaro Ortega, 34, was arrested for swiping a police officer’s cell phone in Bayonne, N.J. No sleuthing involved. He was literally the only other person in the deli. “Did you take it?” the officer asked. “Ummm, yes,” said Ortega. “Umm, OK, you’re under arrest.” “Umm, OK.” The Jersey Journal
Disguise Confusion: The suspect fled after robbing the pharmacy, but police got a good description: woman’s wig, purple dress, white shoes, carrying a purse, full beard. (Wait, what?) Detroit News
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.
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