WHEREAS, there are many brands of rat poison on the market today; and
WHEREAS, Some brands of rat poison do cause the rat to leave the building before he dies; and
WHEREAS, The same thing goes for mice; and
WHEREAS, The State of Texas obviously does not use a brand of rat poison that causes rats and mice to leave the building before they die; and
WHEREAS, For the last week and a half, Representatives Jungmichel, Wieting, Ward, McAlister, Allen, Allen of Harris, Jones of Harris, Kubiak, Parker of Jefferson, Cory, Newman, Johnson of Bexar, Kothman, Weldon, Longoria, Ogg and Cummings have unduly suffered mental anguish by having to smell a dead rat; now, therefore, be it
RESOLVED, That the heretofore mentioned Representatives hereby go on record as supporting either letting the rats run loose in the Capitol or changing the brand of rat poison.
So what are these brands of rat poison that can make a rat leave the building before it dies? I've never heard of such a thing.
Dr. Peter Steincrohn's 1969 book (available used on Amazon) promised to reveal how one could be "lazy, healthy, & fit." For years before he published the book, Steincrohn had also been writing newspaper columns in which he promoted his formula for health. The secret was girdles.
He felt that all men over 40, in particular, should be wearing girdles just like their wives (this was the 1960s), because he believed that girdles promoted good circulation and thus meant the heart didn't have to work as hard pumping blood. Wearing a girdle, he promised, would "add years to a man's life."
This has gotten quite a bit of attention from the Internet. But just in case some of you haven't seen it, this is the "Tomatan" — the end result of the "wearable tomato project" sponsored by a Japanese vegetable juice company to promote the idea that tomatoes are good for you and would be great food-on-the-go for runners.
This scientific conference, being held in March, runs the risk of attracting the wrong kind of people. Because I'm sure there must be a fetish group out there aroused specifically by the combination it's advertising.
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.
Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott.